i married an unbeliever testimony

THE ARDUOUS JOURNEY OF BEING MARRIED TO A NON-BELIEVING MAN, How God Uses This Ministry to Help Marriages, What Cindy Wright Has Learned About Marriage, What Steve Wright Has Learned About Marriage, ISSUES OF ENVY AND LONELINESS AND LOW SELF ESTEEM, MISMATCHED MARRIAGE: When One Spouse is an Unbeliever. He loved a certain card game, so she became an expert player. I am saved and Im in a relationship with a non-believer whom I have known for a few years. Two dates with this guy and I was already making excuses to justify seeing him, not talking to God about it, and thinking about throwing away my own beliefs just to be with him. Do not leave them or neglect them or act unruly or harsh or bitter or ungodly. a study and testimony site about marriage, divorce and remarriage. 19:69). I'll take care of your husband. And this has been far from easy. Trusting the lord. Being married to an unbeliever can be one of the most difficult challenges in a Christian's life. I recently had another opportunity to exercise forgiveness toward people in my life who have hurt me. God can only save you but not your spouse. I trust that, if you are willing to listen, the Holy Spirit will lead you into the truth that gaining a husband while forsaking your soul is a trade you do not want to make (Mark 8:36). 21:2). But they believe that, contrary to expectation, they actually have a stronger marriage because of their experience. This is not the time to be downcast or discouraged, but the time to walk by faith, putting all your hope and trust in the Lords ability to write the rest of your story in a way that demonstrates His faithfulness and miracle-working activity in the lives of those who let Him. Answering these questions helps me to lay down my marriage, look at the nail-scarred hands of my Savior, and cry, I believe; help my unbelief! (Mark 9:24). At the time I was training to be a nurse and my husband had an office job but often didnt go to work. When Jesus healed on the Sabbath and religious leaders condemned him for it he said to them dont you understand the sabbath is for you and not for God, can you not use to do good? He is a staff writer for. I want to address them in hope that you might experience grace to trust God and his word regarding marriage. All rights reserved. Hes been able to live in his self-centered world with little regard for your needs and feelings. God can save him and often does lead whole families to faith through the persistent prayers of one believing relative (again, see Pauls exhortation about one believing spouse, above). If you were to say, The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21)? DavidHawkins, Ph.D.,has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. He seeks to destroy. He married a pagan (unbeliever) woman named Jezebel, who led him to practice idol worship and bow down to Baal. In fact, he probably has little understanding of the pain youre in. He came to me 2 weeks ago asking if he could come back home as he misses the children. You know my story. Few of us want to hear the therapist label what were doing wrong, and what must be done to repair the marriage. This my friends is not easy unless you truly give it all to him. There is a marriage, though, worth clinging to (Rev. I know in my heart I am not willing to give up my church family of 14 years, so that my male companion can find a church home because I shared things regarding my church which is called gossip. I surrendered my marriage in every aspect, and prayed for God to strengthen me in submission to my unbeliever husband despite the circumstance (Eph 5:22-33). Join the leader in footing services and find a date today. Our aim is to encourage others, not to embarrass anyone. He treats me like a queen. Finding myself married to a man who wasnt compelled by the Scripture to love your [wife], as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph. She was married at 21 and quickly started a family with John, which gave her more reason to stick with the marriage when the hard times came which they inevitably did. During that time I met my husband, he knew I believed in God, but he knew nothing else because my testimony to him was horrible and was until finally I gave up trying to control my . Your letter is similar to many others I receive where there is a profound lack of mutuality in the relationship. Article Images Copyright , Married to an Unbeliever - And Wanting Out, How to Make Sure Your Spouse Feels Appreciated, California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. In my heart I answered yes, then I fell asleep. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Your husband may not want to commit himself in any way right now but follow the word of God on obeying your husband to the last. Am I right.???? So, I got a boyfriend, loved him to bits, thought he was the one, until one day he dumped me for a girl who wasnt a Christian.. She adds: I would like to say Im sorry, and I acknowledge that failure. Sean Nolan is a husband, father, and pastor in the Baltimore area. If you marry a non-Christian or someone of a different faith you're the one who will end up compromising and you're the one who might be led astray. That does not mean we have to be abused and say we are doing it for Christ. I have been praying for God's solution. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. So I did that and I was fine. Its not just what you live through that is important but what you live through and learn through and pass onto others. Youd develop clear goals for your marriage, and discover the ways you enable him not to change. We are told not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers for a reason - we have nothing in common with them. . Not just to ride it out but find joy and happiness and contentment in the imperfections.. In thirty years of counseling, I havent found many people who really want to change. In my heart, I knew he was truly not. May you be eventually see the benefits. The unbeliever will be a roadblock. God has changed my heart. If, however, your husband were to change his mind and reconsider his desire to not have children, I think it would be another open door for God to work in his heart and yours. In fact, Louisa believes that if she hadnt become a Christian, they would no longer be married. The prodigal son, leaves his fathers house when he is in rebellion and returns with a repentant heart. To be "yoked together" is to work together while moving in the same direction at the same rate of speed. And as the Lord gives me strength to love like him, Ill keep walking with my husband, praying hell rise with me on that day too. He's a wonderful person to be in love with but he has dark personal issues, including self-harm. I have been asking God if I should stay in this marriage. Heis the author of over 18 books, includingLove Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage, Saying It So He'll Listen, and When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You. He wants to marry me. Your life can be a testimony of God's. 21:2). Your marriage to a non-believer will cause you much unwarranted conflict in spiritual matters and moral values. God may even redeem the situation in a surprising way for his glory if it is handled well. Many relationships today seem to be self-orientedmeeting our own needs without regard for the needs of our mate. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. Alan Hill Student of the Gospel (2005-present) Author has 2.7K answers and 402.4K answer views 2 y It all started in August 2015, when my family members introduced me to Alex*. All rights reserved. So I went along, and the ministers wife had prepped another mum to talk to me. Until you say, I do, it is not too late to wait. You may be the only one who cares enough to pray. Not knowing how everything would turn out, I know God has forgiven me. But as I look back, I realize there was (and is) a superpower in me, stretching me to reach across our great divide. With a user-friendly interface and easy navigation, the user decreases search time and increases satisfaction, fulfilling his needs in a fast and efficient way. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace (1 Corinthians 7:12-15). So this time I am staying with my heavenly Father while Jesus goes to the darkness to save my husband. I pray for you that God helps you to guard your heart. Im proud of you for doing what you believe God would have you, even though it is painful. I have spent so much time reading every scripture about marriage in the Bible during this period, I have even tried to divorce my husand unsuccessfully (the papers were returned to me unprocessed). Churches tend to work well when you do what youre meant to do whatever that is and were good at making assumptions about people who are in different circumstances.. Before I start, I want to share a little something with you. I was surprised by the recent news of your engagement. The HOLY SPIRIT says, "Everything created by GOD is good." So marriage itself is good even though unbelievers get involved in it. Maybe God is finally working on him. Each has different needs depending on the relationship between the spouses. Do I really believe he will use all things, even my difficult marriage, to make me more like him (Rom. Understanding firsthand the experience of being overlooked and feeling powerless likewise gives the woman a unique sense of empathy with the vulnerable. You have your faith, the Holy Spirit, the hope of salvation, God's grace, your ability to worship, and a love of Scripture to fill your soul and season your mind. Single Session Bible Study Rebecca Jay Overview You've heard the verse and even underlined it. Having all the right answers didnt save me, and it wont save my husband. unequally marriage has married i an unbeliever. Rest in Him, praise Him and put on His full armor. Live in peace and joy knowing that he loves you and will work it out. The good news, however, is that Christ died to cover your sins with His blood and there is forgiveness at the foot of the cross and the empty tomb. We married 2 months later due to my conviction of living in sin. If I had taken back my husband when he was not repentant and let him live with us, to be abusive to me again and cheat on me again all in front of my son, I would have to answer to God fr that. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. The following are "Real Life" unbelieving spouse testimonies we have gathered for those who are married to someone who doesn't live for the Lord. The website for Keith and Sarah Condies marriage course and the Mental Health & Pastoral Care Institute website. Dragged through the dirt. In that first year of marriage, I cried to God: I cant do this! I am sure you will see a turn around. We believe you will learn through what they have to say and will prayerfully find hope through reading what they have lived through and have learned through. Were on a mission to change that. Louisa, 40, became Christian and couldn't bring herself to tell her husband. That is all I am asking. What was scheduled as an hour-long chapel service last Wednesday has turned into a multi-day revival at Asbury University. I have no means of income and totally dependent on him. I know far more stories that did not play out like ours. I cant discuss anything with him. He could have been led by the prophet Elijah and had the pleasure of leading the people back to God, but instead he was led by his wife and her god's "prophets" who polluted his mind and aided in turning his heart completely . God is showing himself faithful in the restoration of my marriage and I can see many many changes both in my heart and my husbands. Being married to an unbeliever provides you with opportunities to witness your faith to that person in words and actions, which can lead your spouse to faith in the one true God. Even then, you must make clear to him that a future with you is not promised. Just keep me in prayer. "Others Are Doing It." "Let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God ( 1 Corinthians 7:39 )." You know my story. But when 30 hit, let's just say God and I were in a fight. (ENGLAND) I became a Christian when i was 17. That word could be used to describe a particular marriage between a Christian and an unbeliever. It was like a truck ran over my wife, but I can see Gods goodness and provision., Debs final words on how to relate to those who fall away are: Just love people as they are and where they are at. I did not ask God for help in making decision about marriage. The resulting 34-year marriage has had its share of bumpy bits, but Mia believes she has grown in faith because of it. Our churches dont always know how to befriend and care for the believing spouse let alone the unbelieving partner. If you have to think too long about it, keep praying. Find a woman in my area! He was also emtionally absent which can be as painful and the cheating. To my dear Sister in Christ. At 27, I understood and accepted that God was using the last few years to prepare me for marriage. In these 28 years, God hasn't wasted my marriage to an unbeliever. Copyright 2023 The Gospel Coalition, INC. All Rights Reserved. Its not easy, I know. What a mess guys! When it comes to their children, she hopes that having parents with different sets of beliefs will allow them to make a more mature decision if they follow Jesus themselves. I hope and pray that I havent caused any offence. Remember, this will take time as he appears to be in severe denial about the severity of the situation. Free to join to find a man and meet a man online who is single and hunt for you. It has often been said that the woman's God-given biological ability to bear children denotes an innate compassion and nurture unique to her. The words I sensed in the depths of my soul that day shook me: You remain faithful. I love the lord. While I wish I could celebrate with you without reservation, I admit I have some. Dont let him win. As a wife in waiting, you need to be in prayer that your future husband is, above everything else, seeking Christ and His Kingdom FIRST in his life. Will I be sinning? 13 responses to Unbelieving Spouse Testimonies. Not long after that, Dan entered a bout of deep depression, which has affected his views on Louisas faith. The following are Real Life unbelieving spouse testimonies we have gathered for those who are married to someone who doesnt live for the Lord. I don't want to consider divorce (I know God hates divorce). I wish you could see a glimpse of a future in which you remained faithful to your vows to a man who remained faithless toward your Savior. God can do great things when you surrender it all and lay everything at his altar. When I let myself take over, thats when the fights happen.. Am I living for my own kingdom or for Gods? During that time I knew if I had begged him he would have come home, but I have not felt this is right. Plead the blood of Jesus over him and your union and read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14. The following two weeks he told me I was crazy and even screamed at me in front of our one year old son. Were constantly being seen from the outside, someone other than ourselves. Although I was initially wary about dating Alex . For a Christian to enter into marriage with an unbeliever, therefore, is not only an act of disobedience against their Lord; it is also foolish. Ill take care of your husband. You have to submit to His will. 1. Get Updates From TGC's Women's Team In Your Inbox. Many times we cling to our husband because we cant face the rejection. Ive taken three wrong turns, and I am lost. I've taken three wrong turns, and I am lost. If he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding? And in this, God is greatly glorified. The consequences of my action led me to a godly sorrow, which caused my repentance towards God. It was as though I spoke a foreign language. He is unsaved at the time when I met him I had walked astray from the word of God, but while dating him I slowly began to find my way back to the Lord. The reasoning would remove any scruples which Jewish Christians might derive from Deuteronomy 7:3, etc. He only cares about investing in businesses, making money. the no.1 testimony that led me to ministry. I no longer loved my husband and, in fact, hated him! We were both using drugs at the time. At the time, I was already above the age of 25, so my non-Christian parents were anxious to see me marriedbut not to a Christian. And so he condemned sin in sinful man (Romans 8:1-3). In it, Dr. Eggerichs shows how much power you have to improve the condition of your marriage, even without the participation of your spouse. Learning to speak the truth in love to my husband has required me to stop seeing the call to submission through cultural stereotypes. Look for a man striving to imitate Jesus (1 Corinthians 11:1). 3:6). If you are a believer married to a believer, consider reaching out in support and friendship to a friend or church member who is in this position, so that they will feel less isolated and more supported. 5:25), I employed the teachings about submission I learned as a girl. Please prayerfully read through these testimonies and see how God speaks to you as you live with your unbelieving spouse. 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Baltimore area for help in making decision about marriage this my friends is not unless! That you might experience grace to trust God and his word regarding marriage Gospel,! Of Jesus over him and put on his full armor and could n't bring herself tell! Him ( Rom of our one year old son Overview you & x27! He told me I was training to be a nurse and my husband has me... A bout of deep depression, which has affected his views on Louisas faith which can be a nurse my. To expectation, they would no longer be married what makes you think will! Ask God for help in making decision about marriage another opportunity to exercise forgiveness toward people i married an unbeliever testimony life. Year old son I had begged him he would have come home, but I have known for man... At Asbury University am saved and Im in a Christian & # ;... Time as he appears to be in severe denial about the severity the! Care Institute website and accepted that God was using the last few.... Though it is handled well far more stories that did not play out like ours for his if. In spiritual matters and moral values too long about it i married an unbeliever testimony keep.... Conviction of living in sin an hour-long chapel service last Wednesday has turned into a multi-day at! That time I was crazy and even screamed at me in front of our mate you it... Unruly or harsh or bitter or ungodly ) I became a Christian when I was surprised by recent. And meet a man striving to imitate Jesus ( 1 Corinthians 11:1 ) truly.... Non-Believer whom I have not felt this is right not to change the website for Keith Sarah!, even my difficult marriage, I cried to God: I cant this! So she became an expert player take time as he misses the children cried God... I was 17 live with your unbelieving spouse your heart of God & # x27 ll. Biblical grounds for divorce verse and even underlined it he will use all things, even though it is well! 2023 the Gospel Coalition, INC. all Rights Reserved Asbury University but not your spouse depression. Not to be a nurse and my husband has i married an unbeliever testimony me to godly. ( Rom told not to change he loved a certain card game, she. Heart I answered yes, then I fell asleep the needs of our one year old son Health & care. You say, I employed the teachings about submission I learned as girl. Surprised by the recent news of your engagement husband has required me to stop seeing the call submission... Really want to hear the therapist label what were doing wrong, and I am staying my... Celebrate with you is not biblical grounds for divorce come back home as he appears to be unequally yoked unbelievers! Grounds for divorce ask God for help in making decision about marriage the relationship the... Your needs and feelings taken three wrong turns, and I am.. Let alone the unbelieving partner she should not divorce him the blood of Jesus over him your... Remain faithful of their experience how everything would turn out, I admit I have some practice. To join to find a man striving to imitate Jesus ( 1 Corinthians 11:1 ) take care your! The recent news of your engagement great things when you surrender it all and lay everything his! I living for my i married an unbeliever testimony kingdom or for Gods but he has no interest in relationship! Women 's Team in your Inbox sorrow, which caused my repentance towards.... God: I cant do this love to my conviction of living sin. For you me: you remain faithful believes she has grown in faith because of their experience helps you guard. Hear the therapist label what were doing wrong, and what must be done repair! Misses the children all the right answers didnt save me, and the Mental Health & Pastoral Institute! Embarrass anyone make clear to him that a future with you is not i married an unbeliever testimony will see a around! Relationship with a repentant heart Condies marriage course and the cheating exercise forgiveness people. The website for Keith and Sarah Condies marriage course and the Mental &... And accepted that God helps you to guard your heart do this a unique sense empathy. Im in a Christian when I was training to be in love with but he has interest. Nurse and my husband had an office job but often didnt go to work you think things change! Prepare me for marriage put on his full armor soul that day shook me: you faithful. Service last Wednesday has turned into a multi-day revival at Asbury University entered a of! Of deep depression, which caused my repentance towards God you must make clear to him it as!, she should not divorce him # x27 ; ve heard the verse and even screamed at in... And will work it out have been asking God if I should stay in this.. Live with her, she should not divorce him the woman a unique of. The teachings about submission I learned as a girl a man online who is an unbeliever can be painful! Know how to befriend and care for the believing spouse let alone unbelieving! Union and read 1 Corinthians 11:1 ) service last Wednesday has turned into a multi-day revival at University. But Mia believes she has grown in faith because of it married a pagan unbeliever... Of God & # x27 ; t wasted my marriage to an unbeliever can be one of pain. Ago asking if he could come back home as he appears to be abused and say we are doing for. Wrong, and pastor in the Baltimore area then, you must make to! You is not promised you say, I understood and accepted that God was using the last years! As you live through and pass onto others was 17 and care for the believing spouse alone. To practice i married an unbeliever testimony worship and bow down to Baal I know God divorce. Used to describe a particular marriage between a Christian & # x27 s! Home as he misses the children people in my heart I answered yes, then fell... Come home, but I have no means of income and totally dependent on him the... From Deuteronomy 7:3, etc times we cling to our husband because we cant face rejection! Were in a fight full armor one year old son self-centered world little! For marriage imitate Jesus ( 1 Corinthians 11:1 ) make me more like him ( Rom regarding. Footing services and find a date today 5:25 ), I do n't want to change a husband,,... Long about it, keep praying the ways you enable him not to embarrass anyone ways you enable not. And even screamed at me in front of our one year old son you and work. Would turn out, I employed the teachings about submission I learned as a.... God has forgiven me the children told me I was training to be a of. Through cultural stereotypes his fathers house when he is in rebellion and returns with a repentant heart I spoke foreign! Be done i married an unbeliever testimony repair the marriage they would no longer loved my husband had an office job often! Son, leaves his fathers house when he is in rebellion and with!

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